Three Ways To Be Less Selfish

When it comes to relationships, is it all about you?

You might not realize when you're only looking out for number one. It can become a habit to think exclusively about yourself. Healthy relationships have a hefty dose of compromise weaved into them on a regular basis. In the context of your relationship, without considering the needs of both your partner and yourself you put your relationship in a dangerous zone. In order to be less selfish, you don't have to compromise on your needs entirely, or make it all about the other person! There's a way to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship in which both parties are heard and feel that they share the spotlight.

You might be selfish in your relationship if you:

1. Like to be in control
2. You usually end up getting your way
3. Lack the ability to compromise
4. Turn the attention to yourself
5. Get restless doing activities your partner wants to do
6. Feel horrible when you "lose an argument"
7. Have trouble apologizing

Here's what you can do to turn your relationship around, and show what a great partner you can be!

1. Gain Self-Awareness

Try practicing mindfulness meditation, or writing in a journal to reflect on how you feel. What's going on with you? What emotions are you dealing with today? By figuring out what emotions you are experiencing, you have the option be able to tackle them and deal with them right away. If you need some time to yourself, take an hour or two doing something you love all on your own. That way, you will be less likely to explode at your partner that you need space later on. You get your needs met, and your partner will love seeing you happy. It's a win-win for everyone!

2. Show Your Gratitude

Remember how you acted at the beginning of your relationship? If you're like a lot of couples, you were probably amazed when they brought you coffee just the way you like it, or started stocking their fridge with your favourite snacks. You also probably gave your partner a huge "THANK YOU!" for these small, but thoughtful gestures. Over time, we stop noticing these small gestures as they become commonplace in our lives. Start by noting the little things your partner goes out of their way to do, and THANK THEM for it! You don't have to be elaborate, but a sincere compliment after your partner makes your eggs in the morning can start your day off on the right foot.

3. Listen

In our busy world today, we often come home and while our partners are telling us about their days, we are checking our emails, texting our friends, or watching the latest episode of our favourite show. You might be trying to listen while you're doing these things, but in reality you're likely missing a large portion of what they're saying. You're missing important cues -- body language, facial expressions and even large chunks of what they're telling you. Your partner might be giving you all the information you need to give them the TLC that they require, but you're not listening! Take the time to really devote ten minutes to your partner when you get home to hear about their day.

It's a skill that will help relationships in all aspects of your life!