Sleep Divorce: Why So Many Canadian Couples Are Sleeping Apart and What to Do About it
In my practice as a relationship therapist, I’ve had an increasing number of couples bring up the delicate topic.
“We sleep in different beds…”
“We still love each other but we just can’t sleep together any more…’
It’s a topic couples always feel awkward bringing up and is often introduced with shame and hesitation.
But it doesn’t need to be. According to a new study conducted by Endy*, 84% of Canadians say sleep compatibility is important when choosing a long-term partner, 38% have considered sleeping separately, and 17% are currently sleeping in separate beds, rooms, or on different schedules due to sleep-related disruption.
So if you’re dealing with sleep issues with your partner, you’re definitely not alone.
When a couple is still happily in love but sleeps in separate beds, it’s called “sleep divorce,” and it’s more common than you think.
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In 2026 I’ve noticed sleep divorce has become increasingly more common. While navigating different schedules, sleeping habits, snoring, or a growing family, today, Canadians are prioritizing their sleep in a whole new way.
And yet, it’s STILL an awkward topic.
Couples will come into sessions saying, “Is this normal?” or “We know we shouldn’t be doing this…”
My hope today is to provide you with the facts about sleep divorce – I’m going to break down what sleep divorce really signifies, give you advice on how to bring it up with your partner, and share some recommendations based on my expertise.
What EXACTLY is “Sleep Divorce”?
Sleep divorce is quite literally when couples choose to sleep separately in order to protect their sleep. This can mean different beds, different rooms, or even different schedules.
What I’ve noticed over time is that most people are really reluctant to sleep in separate beds. They love the feeling of sleeping in the same bed and truly don’t want to lose that connection. Many couples will tolerate poor nights of sleep for a long period of time because they believe sleeping together should be easy, or because separating feels like a loss.
By the time sleep divorce actually enters the conversation, they’re exhausted.
Meanwhile, it would have been totally preventable if they’d just communicated earlier.
Who is most likely to experience sleep divorce?
Sleep divorce happens most often when couples deal with mismatched schedules, snoring, frequent nighttime movement, body heat, or chronic sleep disruption that has never really been addressed.
According to the same study conducted by Endy*, women are more likely to report that their sleep is disrupted by a partner’s snoring or movement. 25% of Canadians reported nighttime movement as the leading cause of partner-related sleep disruption, and 20% cited temperature preferences as a contributing factor.
Over time, imbalances like this can create resentment, especially if it’s one partner whose sleep is disproportionately affected.
Usually it looks like this:
- One partner is desperate for sleep.
- The other often does not realize how disruptive their habits are.
Without conversation, the gap widens – and this creates issues not just with sleep, but with the relationship.
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How does sleeping apart affect a relationship?
Research has consistently shown that sleeping together is linked to higher relationship satisfaction and lower levels of conflict. Couples I work with describe feeling more connected and more in sync when they are co-sleeping happily.
I’ve noticed that the emotional impact of sleep divorce usually has less to do with the physical arrangement and more to do with communication around the decision.
Sleeping apart often feels like a last resort, so it can highlight feelings of loneliness or disconnection that extend beyond the bedroom if the relationship isn’t working.
At the same time, chronic sleep deprivation does affect emotional regulation, patience, and interpretation. People who are not sleeping well are more reactive, less generous with one another, and generally more moody.
Over time, this can erode connection just as effectively as physical distance.
Is sleep divorce helpful or harmful?
For some couples, sleeping apart genuinely improves sleep quality and allows both partners to function better during the day. In those cases, sleep divorce can be a really positive choice for the relationship.
For others, forcing shared sleep when no one is resting well is genuinely awful.
The determining factor (to me) is not whether couples sleep together or apart, but whether the decision is made with BOTH partners in mind, communicated clearly, and revisited as life and circumstances change.
When sleep divorce happens without consideration of both people, it amplifies the distance that already exists. When it happens thoughtfully, it can actually protect the relationship.
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Can couples avoid sleep divorce?
In many cases, yes – couples can avoid sleep divorce and come up with better solutions.
Most sleep issues couples face are completely practical. Snoring, movement, temperature differences, and comfort preferences are common and natural. These aren’t personal failings or signs of incompatibility. They are sleep disturbances that deserve attention before couples assume separation is the only solution.
I always recommend couples talk openly about sleep as early as possible. Ask each other to describe an ideal sleep experience. Are you getting what you need right now? What would help your sleep improve?
These conversations often uncover solutions couples have never explored.
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Can the right sleep setup make a difference?
Yes, definitely!
Many couples move toward sleeping apart without realizing how much the sleep environment itself is contributing to the problem. Motion transfer, overheating, blanket stealing, and lack of proper support are some of the most common disruptors.
Mattresses designed to reduce motion transfer can make a significant difference for couples where one partner tosses, turns, or wakes earlier. Materials that help regulate temperature can reduce the “one partner is freezing, the other is overheating” dynamic. Adjustable bases that allow for head elevation can reduce snoring and improve airflow.
Endy’s sleep products are designed to address these exact challenges. The Endy Mattress and Endy Hybrid Mattress use motion-isolating foam to help reduce disruptions from movement and are made with a cooling gel-infused layer to help regulate temperature – both of which are major factors that lead couples to consider sleeping apart. For couples dealing with snoring or different bedtime routines, Endy’s Adjustable Base allows each partner to customize their position without disturbing the other.
Something else I often recommend to couples is the Scandinavian sleep method – using two separate duvets instead of sharing one. This small change can dramatically reduce temperature tension and prevent nightly tug-of-war over covers, while still allowing couples to sleep in the same bed. Having your own duvet gives each partner control over their warmth and comfort, which can be surprisingly impactful.
For couples who want to explore sleep solutions like this further, Endy offers thoughtfully designed sleep products that address many of the practical issues that lead to sleep disruptions in relationships. You can learn more about their mattresses, furniture, and bedding at endy.com. From February 2 - 14, 2026, Endy is also offering a BOGO promotion on duvets using code VAL-26-DUVET-BOGO, making it easier for couples to try the two-duvet approach and customize comfort on both sides of the bed.
The goal is not forcing couples to sleep together. It’s helping them realize that shared sleep does not have to mean compromised sleep.
Should singles think about sleep compatibility too?
TOTALLY!
Sleep habits are not about exact bedtimes. They’reabout communication, flexibility, and how someone navigates shared vulnerability!
How a person talks about their sleep and responds to disruption offers meaningful insight into how they will approach other needs in a relationship.
Given how deeply sleep affects emotional health and connection,it makes sense to treat sleep compatibility as a legitimate consideration earlier rather than later.
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Final thoughts
Sleep divorce, to me, is a reflection of how demanding modern life is, and how central sleep is to emotional wellbeing.
For some couples, sleeping apart is absolutely the right choice. For others, it’sa signal that your sleep patterns as a couple need to be talked about and problem-solved.
What matters most is whether couples treat sleep as a shared responsibility rather than an individual sacrifice or something the other person has to “put up with”.
When sleep improves, quality of life improves. Patience improves, connection improves, and relationshipsoften feel easier to be in.
If you’re unsure of which type of sleeper you may be compatible with based on your own sleep habits and needs, take Endy’s compatibility quiz here to find out, and explore more sleep solutions at endy.com to support healthier, more restful nights together.
