10 Practical Resources for Setting Healthy Boundaries
Setting healthy boundaries is one of the most important skills for maintaining mental health, yet it is often one of the most difficult for individuals to learn. Boundaries are not just about saying "no" to others—they are about understanding and protecting your personal space, time, emotions, and well-being. Boundaries allow you to communicate your limits in relationships, at work, and within your personal life, ensuring that you protect your emotional and physical energy.
For clients in therapy, especially those dealing with issues such as trauma, anxiety, depression, or Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), learning to set boundaries is an essential part of the healing process.
Therapy can be a safe space for clients to explore their boundaries, but setting them also plays a crucial role in everyday life, from managing work-life balance to navigating personal relationships.
What Are Boundaries? Understanding Their Importance
Boundaries are the invisible lines that protect us from emotional, physical, and mental harm. They help us define who we are, what we are comfortable with, and what we need to feel safe and respected. Boundaries are essential for maintaining mental and emotional well-being. Without them, we are vulnerable to burnout, emotional exhaustion, and unhealthy relationships.
Types of Boundaries:
- Physical Boundaries: These refer to how we protect our bodies and personal space. Physical boundaries may include things like maintaining personal space during interactions or deciding how comfortable you are with physical touch.
- Emotional Boundaries: These are related to how we protect our emotional health. Emotional boundaries are necessary to prevent others from manipulating, controlling, or taking advantage of us. Setting emotional boundaries can involve learning how to say "no" or distancing yourself from negative people or situations that affect your emotions.
- Mental Boundaries: Mental boundaries help us protect our thoughts, opinions, and beliefs. These boundaries allow us to maintain our sense of identity and autonomy, free from undue pressure or influence from others.
- Time Boundaries: These boundaries help us manage how we spend our time and energy. Time boundaries are especially important in today’s fast-paced, often overwhelming world, where people are often expected to over-commit at work, in social settings, or with family obligations. Learning how to say "no" or to delegate tasks is a crucial part of managing time effectively.
Why Setting Boundaries is Beneficial
Reduced Stress and Burnout
By setting clear boundaries, you can reduce the emotional strain of overcommitting or saying yes when you really need to say no. Boundaries help protect your time and energy, ensuring that you don’t burn out from trying to please others or from taking on too much.
Improved Mental Health
Establishing boundaries allows you to protect your mental well-being. Setting emotional and mental boundaries allows you to engage in self-care, process your emotions without external interference, and keep your thoughts clear from the negative influence of others.
Better Relationships
Healthy boundaries foster respect and communication in relationships. When people understand your limits and respect them, relationships thrive. On the other hand, when boundaries are ignored or violated, relationships can become strained or toxic. Boundaries help prevent resentment from building in relationships, whether with family, friends, or coworkers.
Increased Self-Respect
Setting boundaries is an act of self-respect. By acknowledging your own needs and limitations, you show that you value yourself enough to protect your mental and emotional health. This self-respect can lead to increased self-esteem and confidence.
10 Practical Resources for Setting Boundaries
📚 1. The Better Boundaries Workbook: A CBT-Based Program to Help You Set Limits, Express Your Needs, and Create Healthy Relationships by Sharon Martin
Why It’s Different:
The Better Boundaries Workbook takes a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) approach to boundary-setting, offering a structured, step-by-step program to help you set clear limits, express your needs, and foster healthier relationships. This workbook is designed for anyone who struggles with establishing boundaries due to fear of conflict, guilt, or low self-esteem, helping you build skills and confidence to create the life you want.
Best Part:
The workbook offers practical exercises that focus on identifying boundary issues, understanding your emotional responses, and practicing boundary-setting in real-life scenarios. By using CBT techniques, it empowers you to shift negative thought patterns that might prevent you from standing firm in your needs, helping you to communicate more assertively and with greater self-awareness.
✅ Pro Tip: As you work through the exercises, take note of any recurring patterns or emotional triggers that come up. This will help you identify areas where you may need additional support and develop a deeper understanding of your personal boundary challenges.
🎧 2. “Worthy of Boundaries” Podcast with Melissa Urban
Why It’s Different:
In this episode of Kate Bowler's podcast, Worthy of Boundaries, Melissa Urban, a boundary expert and the creator of the Whole30 program, shares powerful insights on how to recognize your worth and use boundaries to protect your mental and emotional health. Urban’s approach emphasizes that boundaries are not just about saying no to others, but about saying yes to yourself—giving yourself permission to prioritize your needs without guilt.
Best Part:
Melissa Urban brings a refreshingly candid and empowering perspective on boundaries, focusing on self-compassion and authenticity. She helps listeners understand how boundaries can be an act of love for yourself and a necessary part of living a balanced, healthy life. The episode also offers real-life examples and actionable tips that you can implement right away.
✅ Pro Tip: After listening, take some time to reflect on one boundary you’ve been avoiding setting. Write down the reasons behind your hesitation and then ask yourself how you might be able to set this boundary from a place of love and self-respect.
📝 3. The “Circle of Control” Exercise by PositivePsychology.com
Why It’s Different:
Boundary-setting isn’t just about saying “no.” It’s also about recognizing what’s within your control and what isn’t—a skill that often gets overlooked. The Circle of Control worksheet helps you visually map out where you’re focusing your energy and determine whether you’re spending too much time trying to manage things beyond your influence.
Best Part:
This exercise fosters emotional detachment from situations where you can’t control the outcome, helping you maintain boundaries with greater peace of mind.
✅ Pro Tip: Use this exercise before difficult conversations to ground yourself and avoid getting swept up in emotional chaos.
📱 4. Boundaries.Me by Dr. Henry Cloud
Why It’s Different:
If you loved Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud but wished for a more interactive experience, Boundaries.Me is your solution. This subscription platform offers video-based coaching sessions that dive into complex boundary topics—like handling emotionally manipulative people, protecting your energy at work, and dealing with boundary violations.
Best Part:
The platform includes guided reflections and exercises, making it feel like having boundary coach in your pocket.Plus, it allows you to work at your own pace, giving you the flexibility to revisit specific lessons or take a deeper dive into areas that resonate most with you. It’s a great way to stay on track with your boundary journey without feeling rushed or overwhelmed.
✅ Pro Tip: Explore one boundary topic per week and journal about how you can apply the insights to your life.
💡 5. Email Templates for Setting Boundaries at Work by InHerSight
Why It’s Different:
One of the most common places where boundaries get tested is in the workplace, especially via email. Whether it’s an overbearing boss or a colleague who constantly emails you outside of work hours, responding effectively can be tough. InHerSight’s Email Templates for Setting Boundaries offers clear, ready-to-use templates to help you assert your limits in a professional, tactful manner.
Best Part:
These templates are designed to help you communicate your boundaries without sounding confrontational. From politely rejecting after-hours emails to setting limits on how much time you'll dedicate to non-urgent tasks, the templates empower you to set boundaries without damaging your professional relationships.
✅ Pro Tip: Adapt the templates to fit your tone and relationship with the recipient. You can still be assertive and clear without being rude or abrupt.
📚 6. “Radical Permission” Guided Journal by adrienne maree brown and Sonya Renee Taylor
Why It’s Different:
Most boundary resources focus on external relationships, but Radical Permission invites you to explore boundaries with yourself—a critical yet often neglected piece of the puzzle. This journal isn’t just about setting boundaries with others—it’s about setting them with yourself, honoring your needs, and releasing shame.
Best Part:
This guided journal encourages deep reflection on where you’ve been conditioned to sacrifice your needs and how to reclaim agency over your life. The prompts are designed to challenge societal norms, enabling you to question the expectations you’ve internalized and instead, embrace your own desires and limitations with confidence.
✅ Pro Tip: Set aside 10-15 minutes each morning to engage with a prompt before diving into your day. The beauty of this journal is that it's designed to help you unlearn old habits and create more authentic ways of living.
🧘 7. Insight Timer’s “Set Healthy Boundaries & Let Go of People-Pleasing” by Kenneth Soares
Why It’s Different:
If you've struggled with people-pleasing or setting boundaries, this 20-day course on Insight Timer by Kenneth Soares might just be the deep dive you need. Unlike quick fixes or surface-level advice, this course is built on a holistic approach to boundary-setting, tackling the mental, emotional, physical, and energetic aspects of the process.
Best Part:
In this course, you’ll get a well-rounded understanding of how to communicate your boundaries with your words, body, and energy. Plus, you’ll learn practical techniques to deal with internal and external resistance, and how to stand firm in your boundaries—something many of us find difficult..
✅ Pro Tip: This course can be challenging, but in a growth-centered way. Pair it with journaling or conversations with a supportive friend to reflect on each module, so you can internalize the lessons and start applying them to your life.
📱 8. “I Am Daily Affirmations” – The App for Boundary Reinforcement
Why It’s Different:
Sometimes, setting boundaries can feel daunting, especially when you’re used to putting others first. The I Am Daily Affirmations app is a powerful tool that helps reinforce your self-worth and boundaries through positive affirmations. By sending you daily prompts and affirmations focused on self-respect, saying no, and prioritizing your needs, this app helps you internalize the importance of setting boundaries in a gentle and empowering way.
Best Part:
Each affirmation is tailored to boost your confidence, with a focus on assertiveness and self-compassion. It’s like having a personal cheerleader who reminds you daily that you deserve to prioritize your well-being.
✅ Pro Tip: Set a daily reminder to practice your affirmation right before a potentially difficult conversation or when you’re anticipating a boundary-testing moment. This will ground you and help you stay true to your needs.
🎥 9. Conversational Boundary Scripts for Tricky Social Situations by Terri Cole
Why It’s Different:
Setting boundaries is one thing, but navigating tricky social situations is another. Conversational Boundary Scripts by Terri Cole is a resource designed to help you respond to people in emotionally charged or difficult conversations with grace and confidence. Cole, a licensed therapist and relationship expert, provides ready-made scripts that you can adapt for various scenarios—whether it’s dealing with a demanding family member, saying no to a friend, or asserting yourself in a professional setting.
Best Part:
The scripts are designed to help you communicate boundaries without triggering conflict. Cole emphasizes the importance of calm, assertive communication and provides step-by-step guides on how to assert your limits in a way that maintains respect for both yourself and the other person.
✅ Pro Tip: Practice these scripts in front of a mirror or role-play with a friend to make them feel natural and automatic when you need them most.
🌿 10. “Set Boundaries, Find Peace” by Nedra Glover Tawwab
Why It’s Different:
While boundary-setting might sound straightforward, it’s often much harder to implement in practice. In Set Boundaries, Find Peace, Nedra Glover Tawwab provides a thorough guide to understanding boundaries and the critical role they play in improving your relationships and emotional well-being. She combines psychological insight with actionable strategies to help you communicate your needs without guilt.
Best Part:
The book is packed with practical advice on how to say no, establish emotional limits, and communicate clearly with others in ways that respect both your needs and theirs. Tawwab even includes real-world scenarios that help readers navigate difficult situations like family pressures, work-life balance, and social obligations.
✅ Pro Tip: Read this book with a friend or partner, and practice the techniques together. This can help you build confidence in setting boundaries while getting immediate feedback from someone you trust.
🎯 How to Make These Resources Work for You
Knowing where to start can feel overwhelming, but here’s a roadmap to help you integrate these resources seamlessly into your life:
✅ Pick 1-2 resources to start: Don’t try to tackle everything at once. Begin with one book or course and layer in other tools as you build confidence.
✅ Set micro-goals: Aim for small, achievable goals like setting one boundary a week or practicing a boundary script in a low-stakes situation.
✅ Track your progress: Use a journal or app to reflect on what’s working, where you’re feeling resistance, and how your boundaries are evolving.
✅ Celebrate your wins: Boundary-setting is a lifelong practice. Acknowledge even the smallest victories—they’re all steps toward healthier relationships and a stronger sense of self.
Setting boundaries is a skill that takes practice, patience, and sometimes, guidance from a supportive professional. At KMA Therapy, our therapists are well-versed in helping clients navigate the complexities of boundary-setting—whether it’s learning to communicate your needs, dealing with difficult relationships, or breaking free from people-pleasing patterns. Our client-centered, evidence-based approach ensures that you receive the tools and strategies you need to create lasting, healthy boundaries in all areas of your life.
Book a free 15-minute discovery call today and take the first step toward building stronger, more authentic relationships.
