10 Essential DBT Skills EVERY Therapy Client Should Know
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What Is DBT?
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) is a powerful, evidence-based form of therapy designed to help individuals regulate their emotions, improve interpersonal relationships, tolerate distress, and live mindfully. Originally developed to treat borderline personality disorder, DBT is now used to support people struggling with anxiety, depression, self-harm, substance use, eating disorders, and more.
At KMA Therapy, we use DBT-informed techniques in both individual and group therapy settings to empower clients to build a life worth living.
The Four Core Modules of DBT
DBT is divided into four core modules, each offering essential skills that support mental health and emotional well-being:
- Mindfulness
- Distress Tolerance
- Emotion Regulation
- Interpersonal Effectiveness
Let’s break down 10 essential DBT skills you’ll likely encounter in therapy — and how they can help transform your mental health journey.
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1. Observe Without Judgment (Mindfulness)
This skill helps you become aware of your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations without trying to change them. Learning to observe your experience without judgment builds emotional resilience and creates space between stimulus and response.
Example: Instead of reacting to stress with panic, you notice your heart racing and acknowledge your anxiety without self-criticism.
2. Describe What’s Happening (Mindfulness)
Describing encourages you to label your internal and external experiences clearly and objectively. This helps you get “unstuck” from overwhelming emotions.
Example: “I’m feeling anxious because I have a presentation tomorrow, and my chest feels tight.”
3. Participate Fully (Mindfulness)
This skill teaches you to engage with your experience fully, without self-consciousness or distraction. It’s about being present and throwing yourself into the moment.
Example: Laughing freely during a conversation, without worrying how you’re being perceived.
4. TIP Skills (Distress Tolerance)
TIP stands for Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, and Paired Muscle Relaxation. These skills provide immediate physiological relief when you’re overwhelmed.
Example: Splashing cold water on your face or holding an ice cube to reset your nervous system during a panic attack.
5. Self-Soothing (Distress Tolerance)
Self-soothing uses your five senses to calm your body and mind. It’s especially useful when emotions are intense, and you need comfort in the moment.
Example: Lighting a candle, playing calming music, or wrapping yourself in a soft blanket.
6. Radical Acceptance (Distress Tolerance)
This skill teaches you to fully accept reality as it is — even if it’s painful. Acceptance doesn’t mean approval; it means letting go of resistance.
Example: “I don’t like that this happened, but I can’t change it. I will move forward from here.”
7. Check the Facts (Emotion Regulation)
When emotions are high, they can distort reality. This skill helps you ground yourself by asking: “What’s the evidence for this feeling?”
Example: You assume a friend is mad because they didn’t text back. Checking the facts reminds you they’re likely just busy.
8. Opposite Action (Emotion Regulation)
Sometimes, the best way to shift a painful emotion is to act opposite to it. This skill is about choosing behaviours that counteract what you’re feeling.
Example: If you feel like isolating, opposite action encourages you to reach out to someone instead.
9. DEAR MAN (Interpersonal Effectiveness)
DEAR MAN is a formula for assertive communication. It stands for Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Mindful, Appear confident, and Negotiate.
Example: Using DEAR MAN to ask for a raise or set a boundary with a loved one.
10. Give and Get Respect (Interpersonal Effectiveness)
This skill encourages you to balance your needs with the needs of others, promoting mutual respect and stronger relationships.
Example: Saying no to a friend’s request without guilt — while validating their feelings.
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Build a Life Worth Living: Core DBT Goal
DBT isn’t just about managing emotions — it’s about creating a life that feels meaningful and fulfilling. Whether that means improving your relationships, building self-respect, or pursuing personal goals, DBT equips you with the tools to make lasting change.
Example: After learning to regulate emotions and tolerate distress, many clients find themselves reconnecting with passions, setting healthy boundaries, and envisioning a brighter future.
Ready to Get Started?
DBT offers a comprehensive approach to managing emotions, strengthening relationships, and building a more meaningful life. At KMA Therapy, our therapists are trained in DBT and are here to support you every step of the way.
If you're ready to begin your journey, book a free 15-minute discovery call with one of our registered therapists — and join our DBT Group Therapy waitlist today. Your future self will thank you.
